50 Shades Of Pissed off

Hello friends, I know I’ve kind of been “missing” for a few years but I’m back! And I’m alive! And just getting my site back up!

I originally wrote this post “To My Friends Who Can See” back in April of 2016 and so much has changed in my life and in the world since then. I can’t wait to share with you what has happened to me…how the enemy almost took me out, and how God rescued me in epic fashion…brought me out on eagle’s wings. I have SUCH an encouraging testimony to share.

God has also placed some things heavy upon me and I plan to write about them very soon. I will also be putting many of my old articles up on this site within the next month or so, so if you want to be notified when I post subscribe to this blog! Thanks for all your love, support and encouragement. Your words to me affect me more than you’ll ever know and have helped give me self esteem and purpose. Love you guys!

Almost ALL of the people I know in “real life” have blocked or unfriended me on Facebook (as well as in reality) b/c I don’t hold back. I am so interested in and passionate about the things I see happening that I finally crossed the threshold to where the truth matters more to me than what anyone thinks of me. And boy is that a freeing feeling. Not that I haven’t paid a heavy price for it though…socially that is. But I’d much rather be alone than in shallow company anyways, so it doesn’t bother me much.

Almost all of my Facebook friends (who have become”real friends” over the years) are people I’ve never met.

I’ll never forget when one of my best friends from high school tried to have a “talk” with me saying “So what’s going on with you? Alot of people have been telling me they’re concerned.” (Because of my Facebook posts.)

I couldn’t help but laugh at her genuine concern….just wow…every day is just so bizarre…knowing and seeing these things plain as day and watching those right next to you see absolutely nothing.

I didn’t even bother trying to explain. I knew by now that was a lost cause. So I just replied “Its not my fault everyone’s brainwashed.”

The look she got on her face (she’s a liberal who lives in San Francisco) makes me laugh when I think back to it.

I told her “Someday I’ll seem like the most brilliant person in the world.” She shook her head at me…

John Todd, one of the early Illuminati whistleblowers said something in one of his lectures (from the 1960’s) that really stuck with me. It spoke to me because it’s what happened to me and I believe it to be true with all my heart. He said:

“Anyone who studies this stuff…the Illuminati, the Federal Reserve, the political side, the elite, Hollywood, all of it–anyone who goes really deep…finds God, the Bible and Jesus Christ. It’s all about Him. It’s a war on HIM.”

And there it is folks. That’s what it all boils down to. It’s such a profound statement because it’s so true! I truly believe that we are the last generation and that Jesus Christ will probably return within our lifetimes.. and that Satan knows he has but a short time…so he’s pulling out all the stops. He has been held back until now from destroying the earth. But we are about to witness the grand finale and it is going to be EPIC.

It’s a spiritual war, cloaked in deception. A battle more important than any before it in the history of the world..and WE have been specifically chosen to be a part of it. Our actions during it will echo in eternity and the implications of it are more important than we could ever possibly comprehend.

We are the Children of the End. And the true reality of what’s going on SMASHES fiction any day of the week. And that’s WHY this is all so fascinating to me.

When Obama appeared on the scene in 2008 campaigning for president I had an immediate & almost physical aversion to him. I never cared about or knew anything about politics until that man stepped onto the scene.

I was 28 in 2008 and up until that point I had been too busy partying to give any thought to politics or world affairs. But the appearance of Obama on the scene changed that for me…because of the unexpected physical reaction I found myself having to him. I’ve learned from experience that my gut feeling is always spot on and I had never had such a reaction like this to someone I barely knew. Something was up.

I’ll never forget the first time I saw him give a campaign speech on TV….I can’t explain why or how I knew, but the hairs stood up on the back of my neck and I KNEW he was evil and here to destroy our country (I knew nothing about the Illuminati or NWO at the time). I thought he must be the Antichrist b/c it blew me away how no one around me could feel what I felt when I saw him.

I started trying to warn all of my family & friends…begging them not to vote for him….I became almost obsessed with it. Everyone got mad at me of course, telling me to calm down and shut up.

The day Obama was inaugurated to the presidency on January 21st, 2009, I was in an inpatient women’s rehab right outside San Francisco in Marin (trying to get off opiates) and the counselors who ran the rehab were all liberals. They canceled all of our activities that day so we could watch the inauguration and celebrate the first black president.

All of the girls excitedly gathered around the TV to watch. At first I tried to sit with them, but it quickly became unbearable. I had the same emotions one might have watching the execution of a loved one. I was nauseous and felt like throwing up. I left the “celebration” to go be alone. I wasn’t expecting to be so physically affected by his inauguration.

I remember it was raining and gray and how appropriate that felt on a day like today…it was as though the heavens were crying. I was so heavy & sad. I distinctly felt a shift in the spiritual realm that day and I knew that everything would be different from that day forward. I even saved that day’s San Francisco Chronicle b/c I knew that one day this headline would be prophetic. I still have it. Here’s a pic of it.

So when Obama was elected I knew without a doubt that we were in the End Times. I felt it strongly in my spirit.

I had always been fascinated with the book of Revelation as a child….I was always drawn to that book and I remember combing through every detail as a little girl, trying to figure out the meaning and imagining what those times would be like.

I’ve heard many others say that they too have always had something inside of them that knew that “something big” was going to happen in their lifetime, that they would be a part of.

In college I was living abroad in Madrid, Spain when Tim LaHaye’s “Left Behind” books came out and I read through that entire series on my long rides to work and school on the metro. They fascinated me.

I even went and visited the Vatican in Rome while I was in Europe, and Pope John Paul III happened to give a mass the day I was there. He rode within feet of me, waving to the crowd, in his bullet proof glass encased “Pope-mobile” and I remember feeling like I was living out one of the scenes in the Left Behind series.

This was in the year 2001 (I was only 20 years old) and back then I was not aware of how evil the Catholic system was at the very top but I do distinctly remember touring the Vatican and noticing that it didn’t feel good there. It reminded me of Vegas where the air feels thick and suffocating…..it’s the oppressive feeling of major demonic activity.

So when Obama was elected I thought he might be the Antichrist. (I don’t think so anymore) because of how everyone was so enamored with him. It was hard to find anyone else who sensed this man’s evil….who felt like I did. I had only ONE friend…another Christian man at my work who felt the same way, who I could talk to. The rest of my family and friends (many of them Christians) got mad at me… told me I was over reacting… I was a racist, and to “give Obama a chance”.

So of course with the appearance of this very obvious villain on the scene, I began paying attention…but I knew nothing then….I had no clue there were powers behind him…the “Illuminati” and their “New World Order” weren’t even on my radar…but that would soon change. My hunger for knowledge had begun…and I wanted to understand more.

And it’s interesting b/c looking back on my “awakening & learning process” I see that I HAD to have been divinely guided b/c I “randomly” came across the information in almost perfect sequential order. As though God was running a lesson plan and bringing me the perfect info at the perfect time, in the perfect order.

He started out by showing me that aliens were demons. I had never really thought much about aliens….at the time I was shocked to find out just how many people were actually having these abduction experiences. It all began when I ordered a book that I randomly came across…that at the time just looked interesting. I really have no explanation why I ordered it….except that perhaps I was directed to….it’s called “Unholy Communion” by Joe Jordan & David Ruffino.

These 2 guys started researching alien abductions and spent several years interviewing thousands of ppl who had been abducted. They were not Christians when they started this research but by the end of this project they had become Christians….b/c just like every ufologist or researcher who has ever done thorough research into this area…they soon discovered through their thousands of interviews…that the ONLY thing that has EVER stopped an abduction in its tracks was the person calling upon Jesus Christ. Calling on His name made these beings flee immediately.

An interesting statement they made in their book was that every secular ufologist knows this…it is a fact well known by many in the UFO community (that Jesus name is the only known thing to ever stop an abduction)…yet it is rarely spoken about because it doesn’t fit their narrative…and so it is dismissed.

So aliens are demons..but of course! Made so much sense. They steal kill and destroy.

Then I came across LA Marzulli (“UFO’s are real burgeoning and not going away”) where I learned the REAL reason for Noah’s flood…I had been a pastor’s daughter…had grown up in church my whole life…so I was BLOWN AWAY when I found out the REAL reason God flooded the earth.

God hadn’t destroyed every living thing on earth because “people were really bad”. He had sent the flood because Lucifer was about to wipe out His creation!!

Wow… If they had actually taught us the truth in Sunday school …about the Watchers, the giants/Nephilim and just the REAL reason God had flooded the earth…. Sunday school would have been SOOO much more interesting.

I was amazed. The Bible came alive for me in a way it hadn’t before…and things began to make so much more sense! Suddenly the long boring chapters carefully chronicling genealogy weren’t so annoying anymore. The bloodline mattered! Why had this information been kept from us? Why was it considered  unimportant by the churches ? Had they missed the line in the Bible “As in the days of Noah, so shall it be at the coming of the Son of Man”??

There is nothing new  under the sun and Satan is still up to his old schemes.

The problem is that the churches now only teach a watered down version of truth and people will not be prepared for what’s coming, when their pastors are preaching “generic self help sermons” every Sunday.

Then I came across Doug Hagmann and Steve Quayle who were both instrumental in introducing me to a vast treasure trove of new information as well as some really awesome watchmen. I ordered & read Steve Quayle’s book “Angel Wars” which really opened my eyes.

I somehow came across one of Alex Jones documentaries online… and I’ll never forget the first time I saw the video footage of our govt and world leaders participating in that Satanic ritual at Bohemian Grove. That knocked my socks off and changed everything for me.

Because suddenly it all started coming together. Because NONE of this will EVER make any sense until you understand that all top world/govt leaders are occultists and are taking orders from the Fallen One.

All Christians know that Satan is considered the “god of this world” and yet still seem to have a hard time believing that those in power are ACTUALLY Satan worshippers….Satan worshippers who ACTUALLY do things like sacrifice babies and drink their blood in rituals….and on the list goes. Horrific things. Their god is demanding and requires much for his services. They carry out his master plan and he in turn gives them riches, and power, pleasure and prestige.

The fact that most of these bloodline elitists have been split and programmed since they were in the womb is one of the best covers for what they do. Because the average person cannot fathom how a well known politician could (for example) kill a baby in a satanic ritual and do all these horrific things say on a Tue night….and then by Wed morning be dressed to the nine’s giving a wonderful speech to the public in Congress, appearing completely “together” and normal the very next morning.

The amnesic barriers between personalities protects their sanity and ability to function….while still taking part in horrific evil….committing acts that would drive the avg person to insanity.

All throughout the world’s history, even back to ancient Egypt, the bloodline Luciferian elites have “split” their children through Satanic Ritual Abuse. It’s the only way to continue doing what they need to do to please their god and still function and remain “sane”. So for example, the politician giving the speech in front of Congress on a Wednesday morning can appear so benevolent and sincere in the moment because perhaps they ARE. This “alter” has no recollection of the atrocities they” carried out and/or participated in the night before.

So these politicians are either split and highly demonized or even worse…they are shapeshifters or soulless clones. Not even human.

When I found out that the people in charge are Satan worshippers and what their goal was, I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. Especially because it all made perfect sense. The whole picture came into focus, suddenly all at once….This was when my paradigm completely shattered and I went through a period of mourning. Looking back I think I went through the stages of grief over it. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and finally Acceptance.

I was pregnant with my first (and only) child at the time and I was mourning the loss of his future…. wondering what kind of world I was bringing him into….what kinds of things he was going to have to face. I was heartbroken. How was I supposed to raise him…to prepare him without taking away his hope?

It took about a year and a half to process it all and get past the depression and anger into the acceptance stage. It’s some heavy stuff to process. Your whole construct of reality must come down and be rebuilt again.

Today my son knows the basic truths (although I keep it light). Most importantly he knows Jesus.

And when the veil began to lift for me I was so amazed with what I was finding out that I thought EVERYONE would want that know. The biggest shock of my life was when I found out that this wasn’t so.

I was so confused at the reaction I got when I would try to tell my family and friends the things I was learning. They would immediately bristle and become tense….. I was so confused. What was going on? Why did no one believe me? Why did no one want to know?

I felt a range of emotions….but mostly confusion….it was really hard for me to understand why people didn’t care, didn’t want to know, and just plain didn’t believe me.

The truth is so incredible and so epic that you really could not write this stuff if you tried.

I also think the truth has been supernaturally hidden using witchcraft and occult covering. They have a spiritual covering over it….that hides it from the masses.

Although I believe that when they “tell us what their plans are” or “hide things in plain site”, that they are following the spiritual law of consent. If they tell us what their plans are (using Hollywood and the media for example) and we do nothing to stop it, we have in fact passively given our consent….which then gives them legal right to proceed.

So it took me a couple years to understand and accept the fact that most people will not believe me, and will go out of their way to avoid me….because these things make them uncomfortable.

That’s why you kind of have to make a decision regarding things like your Facebook page. You either 1) post neutral things like pics of your dinner, your grandkids, and cute baby/funny cat  videos, or 2) very mild truths hoping to warm ppl up, being careful not to alienate anyone…OR 3) you go all in and post whatever the hell you want. And if you go with option 3 then brace yourself for the outrage from friends, family and acquaintances. They WILL all block you. No..unfollowing your posts is not enough. Neither is unfriending you. They must block you AND make sure you know about it first. Which is silly…as if you’re going to start harassing them and sending them links via messenger. No they know you won’t. They just want to punish you for making them so upset. And if theres no truth to any of it like they claim then what is there to be so upset about? Reminds me of all those atheists who are so obviously mad at God.

I started Facebook out like anyone else. With a few hundred friends. All ppl I knew in real life. Now just a handful of “real life friends/family” remain (literally..like under 5 maybe). I watched as they all dropped like flies one by one. I managed to offend almost every single one of them. But the beauty of it is….that I really didn’t care that much. I am so interested in and passionate about what I see happening that I just know I can’t keep it in or hide it. And it feels so good to be able to be myself and not care what others think. Slowly but surely I attracted ppl who appreciated the same things and over the years I’ve collected quite an amazing group of people. Most I have never met in person….but they have all been such a blessing.

And anyways my main point was that looking back I feel like all of this info was shown to me in just the perfect sequence as though God was guiding me. And when you hear truth you know it. Well I feel like I do anyways. And since then I’ve come across so many others like myself (thanks to the internet)…but its always been a persistent question in my mind… Why is it that so few Christians understand the bigger picture?

It really bothered me that more Christians couldn’t “see”. My parents are amazing Christians and both have a very close relationship with Him that they cultivate on a daily basis. Why couldn’t they “see”?

One day God gave me the answer. And I know it was from Him because of the way it came to me. He tends to answer me by striking me with a thought that hits me a certain way right in my gut…as though I’d always known the answer, but just needed to remember it. And this one was a clear epiphany.

The reason they can’t “see” this stuff is not necessarily because they’re not spiritually discerning but because they weren’t “made” to see it. God didn’t create them with the type of personality to be interested in these things if that makes any sense. They have other gifts & callings serving here on His earthly kingdom.

I think that those of us who are interested in and deeply understand this stuff (it seems to come so natural to us) are this way because it’s a part of our calling. It’s a natural desire & wisdom that God created in us because somehow it fits in with what our ultimate mission will be, here on earth in these End Days. What that purpose is or will be exactly? I have no idea but I know it is real and that it is important.

And yes…Christians NEED to understand the plans of the enemy. Some of us have been called to do just that although it’s obviously not for everyone. Most can’t handle it and it just confuses them and puts them in fear. So my point is is that it’s really easy to get annoyed and frustrated w/ our friends & family who seem totally clueless…especially when they resent us for it and it causes tension. But I guess we just have to remember that not all Christians are called to the same purpose and that this knowledge/wisdom/discernment (whatever it is) is unique to us because we have a special calling. We will be warriors for Christ in a different way than most Christians. I look forward to finding out.

We are living in one of the most important days on earth right now. Part of the reason it’s all so interesting to me is just how bizarre and unbelievable this is…how they are able to pull this off and deceive ppl on this large of a scale. Ppl tell me to stop focusing on the “negative” but what they don’t understand is that it doesn’t affect me like that. I understand the bigger picture and I know at the end of the day who is ultimately in control. I feel safe in knowing that Jesus Christ really did pay the price to redeem us and that although we may still die a physical death, we will be restored to perfection and live in His presence for eternity. Eternity is a very long time.

This temporary reality we are living in and the spiritual battle that is being played out on the world stage right now is stranger than fiction. We have front row seats to a time in history that people have talked about, written about, thought about, and wondered about for thousands of years. I’m not going to apologize for being absolutely fascinated with what I see playing out in front of me in real time. Do you know how many theologians and men of faith would LOVE to have witnessed these events in their lifetime? To finally see how the mystery of these prophesies are actually fulfilled?

I understand that most ppl are not where I am and that many can’t see the whole picture. And that looking at this stuff puts them in fear & makes it too hard to function on a daily basis. I get it. Not only does it take faith in Jesus, belief in a spiritual war, and an understanding of prophesy, but it also takes a certain kind of right brained personality perhaps?….to be able to connect the patterns and appreciate the intricate layers of complexity and intrigue that makes this entire thing so fascinating.

So I guess I’m trying to remember that not everyone can handle learning about this. Of course when they can’t ignore it anymore they’ll have to face it then.

Here is one of my favorite C.S Lewis quotes.

“You may have noticed that the books you really love are bound together by a secret thread. You know very well what is the common quality that makes you love them, though you cannot put it into words: but most of your friends do not see it at all, and often wonder why, liking this, you should also like that. Again, you have stood before some landscape, which seems to embody what you have been looking for all your life; and then turned to the friend at your side who appears to be seeing what you saw — but at the first words a gulf yawns between you, and you realise that this landscape means something totally different to him, that he is pursuing an alien vision and cares nothing for the ineffable suggestion by which you are transported. Even in your hobbies, has there not always been some secret attraction which the others are curiously ignorant of — something, not to be identified with, but always on the verge of breaking through, the smell of cut wood in the workshop or the clap-clap of water against the boat’s side? Are not all lifelong friendships born at the moment when at last you meet another human being who has some inkling (but faint and uncertain even in the best) of that something which you were born desiring, and which, beneath the flux of other desires and in all the momentary silences between the louder passions, night and day, year by year, from childhood to old age, you are looking for, watching for, listening for? You have never had it. All the things that have ever deeply possessed your soul have been but hints of it — tantalising glimpses, promises never quite fulfilled, echoes that died away just as they caught your ear. But if it should really become manifest — if there ever came an echo that did not die away but swelled into the sound itself — you would know it. Beyond all possibility of doubt you would say “Here at last is the thing I was made for”. We cannot tell each other about it. It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want, the thing we desired before we met our wives or made our friends or chose our work, and which we shall still desire on our deathbeds, when the mind no longer knows wife or friend or work. While we are, this is. If we lose this, we lose all.” 

– C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

Thank you to all of you who’ve made me feel appreciated & valued over the last few years…by being interested in the things I post.

You’ve helped keep me sane and encouraged me in this Twighlight Zone we find ourselves in. …  Because of you I can  be confident that I’m not “crazy” or “out there” like my real life family and friends all think I am. 😉

I must end this with this amazing short film. It’s one of my favorites.

P.S. My real name is Laurel Glaze. If you’d like to connect via Facebook plse send me a friend request. Make sure you send a quick message also or I may not see your request. Or my email address is laurelglaze@gmail.com.

See my post Notes of War for an update (5 yrs later).