Notes of War

Originally Posted on Sept 3, 2020

Last night I visited my dad and he finally gave me the validation I had longed for, for so many years.

He told me “Laurel, you saw this coming years before most ppl. You tried to warn us. You were right. You truly have a calling and a gift”.

I nodded and said thank you. It did feel a tiny bit good to finally get that from someone I idolize like my father. But it wasn’t anything as sweet as I had imagined. For I had finally completely given up on his approval several years ago, so now it rang hollow in my ears.

Now I have way bigger things on my heart and on my mind. I’ve never felt so alive and full of life and purpose… but at the same time my struggles have never been so serious, and my heart has never been so heavy. Can anyone relate? It’s like the words of your loved ones finally validating you after all the times you were scolded and mocked…. are kind of a distant echo…. really not so important…. because the sounds of the battle… and the clamoring of the enemy troops approaching, fill your senses and there are way bigger defeats and victories at stake now than a loved one believing you or not.

I always did know that it wouldn’t matter anymore by the time I finally got that acknowledgment from my family. I just can’t believe it’s actually here.

Before I left my parent’s house, my father called me a warrior. He anointed my forehead and both my wrists with oil saying it was a symbol that I was sealed by the Holy Spirit. He laid his hands on me and prayed for me.

My dad is a very pure and righteous man of God, so although it had taken me a really long time to finally release my need for his approval and blessing, the pain from that, had made me form a strong bond with my REAL Father (my Heavenly Father) so that I genuinely no longer need my (earthly) father’s approval anymore to move forward in confidence…

But I have to say that getting my dad’s validation & blessing felt like some kind of marker. As if I was being recognized and praised for my endurance thus far….but that this “next phase” (whatever that means) is now beginning.

So the blessing I received from my dad was definitely a nod from my heavenly Father.. and a beginning of some sort I feel.

How are you guys feeling these days? Are you feeling any different than normal? Are any of your important loved ones finally acknowledging your foresight?

“The trumpet still plays the notes of war. You cannot sit down and put the victory wreath on your head. You do not have a crown. You still must wear the helmet and carry the sword. You must watch, pray, and fight. Expect your last battle to be the most difficult, for the enemy’s fiercest charge is reserved for the end of the day.”

-Charles Spurgeon

The devil is nimble; he can run apace; he is light of foot; he hath overtaken many….They that would have heaven must run for it.”

-John Bunyan

2 thoughts on “Notes of War

  1. Love ya sister. Yes it’s tough to get the validation in light of what’s coming in the very near future and breaking daily.

    It’s does feel hollow.

    I have family members who slandered me for years now coming around and I appreciate that but am not sure how to handle them all other than lovingly God’s way ?

    I feel very soon many of us will be ” removed ” from the general population ?

  2. In response to your question lately I have found that yes we do seek that validation from our parents. No matter what path we choose to take along with the argeous journey we are made of love. My father is similar to yours and I do realize, (which is the power to know & understand then actually use it), that our parents represent that form of the Lord in our life. If you think of this, it can be correlated and measured with the actions we take in life, both good & bad. Thanks for sharing, I believe we all go through certain things in life and arrive to the understanding of the Lord & our parents in different outcomes and time, the important thing is that we do.As humans we need the increase in him (LORD) to get to the next level and that we should all love one another. Thank you.

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